"All I remember about my wedding day in 1967 is that the Cubs lost a doubleheader." — George F. Will

Friday, April 19, 2019

2019 Fantasy Baseball Draft Who Sucks and Who is Good

Hello and welcome to fantasy baseball draft recap. Let's check out each managers top 3 picks along with some key players and see if they suck or not.. 15 letter grades will be handed out to the top picks throughout the Draft. Best Pick awarded would read A+ Pick, 2nd best pick A, 3rd place pick A-, with the worst pick in the draft being a F-. (A+,A,A-...all the way through F-).Let's say your player was awarded the letter B grade (only 15 letter grades handed out so you would possess the sole B grade draft pick. A player receiving this grade would represent a well balanced fantasy player that contributes to your team in many different ways and has proven to be reliable and above average. If you're grade is towards the D - F range that player is graded based on how far you went to reach this probably average-to-mediocre player. A player in this region of grades may also be deemed a bust. Find out how you're team did on the Report Card...

Here is the list of teams by draft order, along with their player who received a letter grade from the draft.


Myrtle Beach Mermen (B+) Fernando Tatis Jr 
Mookie & The Betts (D) Mookie Betts
Nolan's team (A) Josh Hader; (F-) Sean Newcomb
Sean's Splendid Team (D+) Gary Sanchez 
The Boowahs (A+) Whit Merrifield
L. Voit's 89 LeBaron (B) Trea Turner
Kristio's Bus Boy (C+) Nicholas Castellanos
Scratch That Yelich (C) Vlad Guerrero Jr. (would be higher if started season in MLB) 
Francisco Lin-Hodor (B-) Tyler Glasnow
North Side Kings (D-) Milwaukee Starting Pitching
I Hate Baseball (F+) Chris Sale
Shane Falcos (A-) Adalberto Mondesi 
Just A Coupla Kids (F) Kris Bryant



The blog below also goes in draft order. Power Rankings will be released as the season progresses.




In Draft Order... starting off with Kenny Fucking Powers


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Myrtle Beach Mermen


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Top 3 Picks 

 Mike Trout - can he stay healthy? If so team will win

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Aaron Nola - Has potential to compete for cy young

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Anthony Rizzo - needs to hit 40 bombs for Cubs & Mrytle Beach Mermen to have a chance.

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Key Players

Wilson Contreras - a catcher with this pop will win you a league. Catchers lives matter.

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Corey Seager - LAD ease into playoffs behind a big year from their SS.


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When your middle infield partner is in his 40's this is the handshake you're forced to come up with 


Fernando Tatis Jr. - Pray for Pat (B+)


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Mookie & The Betts 

Top 3 Picks

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Mookie Betts (D) - Boston sucks, chosen second overall while Yelich was still available who at the time of writing this already has 10 home runs


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sprinkle a lil salt on that wound

Gerrit Cole - Houston only opponent is Mariners, will win 20 games.

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Potential to compete for Cy young like Nola in the NL.


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Jean Segura - two hitter for the best offense in baseball.


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Key Players

German Marquez - Will be top 5 in K's

Slider has potential to be top 3 in strikeouts this year

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Max Kepler - AL Central sucks he can kill this division.

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Pete Alonso - Power hitter who will have the Mets compete for a playoff spot, can lead NL in RBI's.

2019 Air Exit Velocity (min 25 balls)
NameEV (mph)
Cody Bellinger99.3
Franmil Reyes98.1
Pete Alonso97.6
Yoan Moncada97.4
Gary Sanchez97.1
J.D. Martinez96.9
Anthony Rendon96
Paul Goldschmidt95.5
Joc Pederson95.5
Trey Mancini95.2

Matt Chapman - Best 3B after Arrenado? (B-)


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Nolan's Rad Team

Top 3 Picks


J.D. Martinez

will lead the league in RBI's

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Charlie Blackmon - legendary beard that will be talked about for years to come

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Blake Snell - reigning AL Cy Young winner has the Rays walking away with the AL East right now


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you cannot hit that pitch as a lefty^

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Key Players

Josh Hader (A) - best reliever in baseball, I don't wanna talk about it.

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Sean Newcomb (F-) Not only was this player drafted a round higher than Carlos Rodon (Yes Carlos Rodon was available when this player was drafted...go check out their comparable stats and have yourself a nice chuckle, but Newcomb was recently optioned to Triple-A because he sucks.


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Marcus Stroman - AL East sucks apparently so he will dominate

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Michael Brantley - Great spot in the order on a top AL team

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Paul DeJong - Former ISU Grad not a big deal, will help lead the Cardinals to a Wildcard spot.

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 serious launch angle


Sean's Splendid Team

Top 3 Picks

Nolan Arrenado - Bash Bro's in Colorado

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Check out this smooth play by Arrenado


Trevor Story - Bash Bro's in Colorado

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Starling Marte - Draft was going so well, why?

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Key Players

Great fast outfield: Michael Conforto, Byron Buxton, Billy Hamilton, Randall Grichuk, Franmil Reyes

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Gary Sanchez (D+) Stretch to get this player in the 6th round who will probably end up playing only 80 games this year because he is constantly hurt from carrying that heavy load behind the plate


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The Boowahs - AL only team is lol, similar to Joe only drafting NFC North players. The central sucks, but this team should compete. 


Top 3 Picks

Jose Ramirez - biggest chaw in the game and it's not even close

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Corey Kluber

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Whit Merrifield (A+ Pick)



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When you realize you drafted all White Sox opponents and are at the cell cheering for the White Sox and your boy Merrifield comes to the plate and you are faced with a tough decision on who to cheer for.
Merrifield recently broke George Brett's Royals Hit Streak record with 31 games. Check it out here


Key Players

Austin Meadows - this kid is raking for the AL East leading Tampa Bay Rays, very solid pick PQ (and I believe his first pick outside the AL Central).

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Jose Berrios - AL Cy young Candidate

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David Dahl - going to be great compliment to Arrenado in lineup, also grandson of Roald Dahl

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Eloy Jimenez - prize possession of this team, reached up a couple rounds to get his guy - don't hate it.

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Tim Anderson - just found out he was suspended for pimping a home run off Brad Keller, which is lame. Keep doing you Timmy and keep hitting bombs


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L. Voit's 89 LeBaron 


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This team is beastly, snowbeastly. 

Top 3 Picks

Trea Turner (B)

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Guy can hit anywhere and anything, can field anywhere and anything


Paul Goldschmidt

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will hit 40 bombs to lead Cardinals to wildcard spot



Andrew Bentinendo64


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Key Players

Tommy Pham - Rays are for real and so is this hitter

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been workin out traps with Jahns


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Eugenio Suarez - rakes for a Reds team that should score a lot of runs this year.

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Stephen Piscotty - This team has great outfielders who can produce massive runs. Piscotty has been laser focused since he came back from his mother's death last year. She passed away after battling Lou Gehrig's disease. Check it out here

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Glad the Cubs don't have to play him anymore 



Kristio's Bus Boy (not sure what this means but it makes me laugh, btw can people create fun new team names? Im looking at you nolan's rad team and Sean's splendid team



Top 3 Picks

Max Scherzer - only pitcher in history to throw a 20-K game with two different colored eyes.

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Justin Verlander - nice 1-2 punch this team may have the top pitching duo in league

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Anthony Rendon - forgot about all star since Bryce is gone, can touch 130 RBI's

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 great hair

Key Players

Ozzie Albies

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Nicholas Castellanos (C+) - can produce heavy in this bad division, picked relatively late and should show same production as some outfielders who were picked early.

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Prince Oberyn?



Odubel Herrera - ultimately love all phillies offense this year 

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also has great hair

Yasiel Puig - licks bats, huge intimidation factor and apparently he fights entire teams by himself?


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Scratch That Yelich

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Top 3 Picks

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Christian Yelich - best player in baseball and it's not even close right now

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Giancarlo Stanton - needs to get healthy, then bombs will commence

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Xander Bogaerts - has a really cool name


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Real Strong top 3 with two duel threat outfielders in a MVP in Yelich and Power with Stanton

Needs Pitching, only one man to turn to....

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Key Players

Andrew McCutchen - Pat must be pissed, Phillies will score 1,000 runs and Andrew may have 20% runs scored.

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Kenley Jansen, Aroldis Chapman - trade one of these for an ACE, you're welcome

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my fingers would still be stinging to this day 

Vlad Guerrero Jr. (C) - it's time....

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what a swing


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Yadier Molina - busted nut

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Francisco Lin-Hodor 


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Top 3 Picks

Ronald Acuna Jr. - Everyone should want to have a Braves or Phillies player on their roster


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Francisco Lindor


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Carlos Corrasco

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i got nothing on this guy. Boring,but has a chill goatee


Key Players

Tyler Glasnow (B-) - late high value pick who can produce strong value as a late round steal for the first place Rays??


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George Springer - Has a lisp


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Travis Shaw - more like Travis Chaw

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Trey Mancini - no one pays attention to the Orioles but this kid can rake

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"Trey Mancini is having a renaissance. With new mechanics that have given him more patience with his explosive leg kick and raw power, a higher launch angle could afford him the power he needs to be a star."



North Side Kings - big time fan of the offseason, loves seeing guys take big contracts to go to different teams... Harper to Phillies, Machado to Padres, Cano to Mets. I sense a correlation in career moves between this manager and his top 3 picks... Maybe this manager will pack up and take his talents to the dark side?




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Top 3 Picks

Bryce Harper

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THROWBACK: Papelbon of the week was a weekly blog I would write as to who was the maniac of the week at the time. This all came about after Papelbon attacked Harper in the dugout. Check out a throwback here

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fuck this place I cant wait to get to Philly


Manny Machado - Pray for Pat

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Payday incoming 

Check out this throw by Machado - game changer





Robinson Cano - confirmed steroid guy

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Key Players

Jurickson Profar - can play multiple spots and also produce in a loaded A's lineup


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Masahiro Tanaka - yankees ace with Severino out?


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Milwaukee Pitching - (D-) Has to pitch against a really tough decision, at the time of writing this the Brewers have a negative run differential, the only team in the Central with a negative run differential.

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Ihatebaseball



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Top 3 Picks


Jose Altuve - tiny guy, doesn't hit tiny home runs .. 5"6 to be exact.. possible MVP this year

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Earlier this year Altuve became first player this year to homer in 5 straight games


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Chris Sale (F+) - reached for an Ace who is more hungover than the 2011 Stanley Cup Defending Blackhawks. Sale has started the season out 0-4 with a 9.00 ERA. The pitcher has came out and said he flat out stinks and is embarrassed at the performance he is laying out on the field for fans. Sale needs to figure it out soon or Boston is in trouble of an AL Central Title repeat.

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Rhys Hoskins - Power hitter on the best offense in the league


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Key Players

J.T. Realmuto - see above, Phillies will excel this year behind Hoskins and Realmuto

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Jose Abreu

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When you realize you don't have to try again because the Indians are going to win the AL Central so it's basically another summer off 


Trevor Bauer - this guy is a certified psycho and I couldn't think of a better manager to own this Cy young Candidate. First ballot Papelbon of the Week Candidate as well.


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Shane Falcos

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Top 3 Picks

Alex Bregman

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Javier Baez - arguably the most electrifying players in today's game


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Juan Soto - Similar to Rendon, the Nationals will not be forgotten about. Soto should rake for years to come

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Stacked top 3 picks

Key Players

Adalberto Mondesi (A-)At the time of writing this, Mondesi has 18 hits in 17 games. 4 doubles, 4 triples, 2 home runs, 11 RBI's & 5 stolen bases. If that isn't a player who can do it all for your team I don't know what is. The Royals are the fastest team in baseball led by this kid, Billy Hamilton and Whit Merrifield.

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Cody Bellinger - Leads the league with 10 home runs, can easily surpass 50 this year with one of the best launch angles in the game.


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Mitch Haniger - Absolutely loved this pick and proven to be a good one with the Mariners leading the league in runs and are ahead of the Astros currently. Should be a season long battle between the two teams led by this underrated outfielder.


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Trade a RP for starting pitching 


Just a Coupla Kids

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Top 3 Picks

Jacob deGrom - Having this guy fall into your lap with the second to last pick in the first round must be nice. Easy decision to take reigning NL Cy Young winner to lead your team in K's and QS.

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95 upstairs c ya buddy 

Kris Bryant (F) - Huge stretch for a guy who's hit 12 home runs the past two years. Yes I know he was hurt, but the fact of the matter is since him and Rizzo got wifed up they suck. Don't do it kids, stay young like this manager's team name.

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Look how happy they look, 

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little did they know that two engagement's would lead them down a path to becoming a .225 Lifetime Hitter 

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Greatest achievement since winning the WS is busting Yadi's nut.. Similar to Shae Mcllelan's greatest achievement was breaking Aaron Rodgers collarbone. 

Carlos Correa

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 Was recently awarded the play of the week award which you can check out here


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Key Players


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Yoan Moncada - Been off to a hot start for the South Side, him and Eloy gonna be fun to watch


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Matt Olson - tough luck

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Nerd


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Roped 


Victor Robles - rookie who will be awesome to watch with Juan Soto

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Walker Buehler - has potential to be the dodgers ace this year when Kershaw inevitably hurts his back

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Jahnsy Stackhoused



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Here is an article I found on this manager from 2009 written by Scott Powers of espn.com

click here to read article

In the article, Jahns has two memorable quotes that pretty much sum up not only himself, but the makeup of his fantasy team.


When referring to playing defense:

"I just love to hit people," 



you know who said the same thing?

Mike Tyson 


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When referring to growing up with two older brothers:

"All the time, they were bullying me," Jahns said. "I was so much smaller than them, but now that I'm so much bigger, they don't anymore."


Don't think you gotta worry about being bullied anymore..

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Jahns, the only person who plays softball without sleeves 




Top 3 Picks

Aaron Judge - (Traded)


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Freddie Freeman - seems as if this guy is on his team every year, still undecided if he is fat or not


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Khris Davis - hits monster bombs year after year. An abosolute must grab for this dinger heavy team



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Key Players

Lorenzo Cain - best NL Central lineup leadoff man


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Marcus Semien - I imagine Jahns picked this guy solely on his last name being similar to Semen.


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Justin Turner - 3 Hitter for NL's top offense right now



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Scooter Gennett (C-) Brings the best name in baseball to the table and also a second basemen who can hit 4 homers in a game (proven). Once he comes off the injury list this team becomes infinitely better.



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This concludes the blog, thanks for reading & good luck to all this year!






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