"All I remember about my wedding day in 1967 is that the Cubs lost a doubleheader." — George F. Will

Thursday, July 21, 2016

A Note From Brian

First off, RIP to Jimmy Labuz, who decided to leave the group text this week. Thanks for coming to the draft and then contributing nothing. STS

I didn't really know how to open up this article because there isn't much to say. I've been telling you guys since I started writing that the only way to beat me is if you bring your A-Game, which Cano can go did. Both my losses this year have come to the two top scores in our league. It was only a matter of time until someone hit 600 points, and it would have been me if I really wanted to bury Harry, but I like him so I didn't. Nothing you can do when you score the third highest point total that week and still lose. Even with the big win, here is why Quinn still sucks:

1. He's still 492.13 points behind me in overall fantasy points
2. He found the hard way that Icy Hot doesn't heal an LCL. 12 months and you're still on the DL, you're worse than Derrick Rose. 
3. He had a solid 4 months of unemployment life which consisted of him J/O'ing in his basement on his single bed. Don't know why you can't walk up the stairs to your room like a normal person


Speaking of J/O'ing, I found this to be entertaining. (Don't read it just look at who wrote it)



Guess the interview with the author of this write-up came with a binding contract of bathroom hookups. He was just waiting for the right time in Pat's basement to show her the Bear's bathroom and then immediately denying it. Just own it, loser. 


With that being said, here's a quick nugget for the second half. If you were going to do a head-to-head with my weekly scores I would be 125-22. That's a .850 winning percentage. Not to brag, but that's better than everyone else. 


We got a long week because of the All Star break, but I'll be back on the winning track as I face off Jimmy, who I mentioned earlier decided it was better to leave all together than play me. At least he picked a cool team name. I commend him for owning and accepting his place, wish more people in this league would follow. Would make my life a little easier. 


Good luck to everyone during the second half! Have fun fighting it out for being my first bitch..

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